It's 7:52 and I just laid the kids down for bed and sighed a great sigh of relief as I closed the door to their bedroom. Aaron is at College Group and the silence as I walk back into the living room is in stark contrast to the noise in my head. I have a huge long insane list of things that really need to be done...
-Edit and post photos from a portrait session (OVERDUE)
-Clean house. It's truly awful.
-Respond to client e-mails.
-Make a meal plan/grocery list (one of my least favorite things lately)
-Finish wedding album for a couple who got married in October (LONG OVERDUE)
-Laundry (it's all piled up on the couch in a giant mess)
-Pay my taxes (OH CRAP, I forgot about that! Due in the morning!)
The list goes on and on (I've been keeping track of it with the "2Do Lite" app on my iPod -- which I have a love/hate relationship with at the moment) and the "Overdue" section is stacked full of things I was supposed to do last week and didn't.
But I think instead of doing all that, I'm going to go sit in the bathroom and I'm going to fix my hair... well, after I pay my taxes. Is that strange? Ha ha, I know it is. But I crammed a shower into the middle of my day and didn't have time to fix it before going to pick up Abby from school, then grocery shopping, then to the Library, then cooking dinner, cleaning up, going on a long overdue walk that I had promised the kids, and helped with homework. I just want to feel like a woman. A woman without frizzy hair.
Working from home is exhausting. Being a mom is exhausting. At times, balancing it all feels impossible.
I'm tired.
Hopefully, everyone is aware of the fact that I absolutely love everything about my life. I can't imagine anything better than being able to spend so much time with my family AND to be able to have such an amazing job/business. I'm not looking for a pity party or for sympathy. I feel kinda bad for "dumping" all of this, because even on my worst days I am amazingly blessed.
I'm EXTREMELY thankful for Aaron who, in his short time home tonight, saw the desperate look in my eyes and offered up all sorts of assistance. When all I see are things in the way, he starts moving boulders. He is amazing.
And then there's the ultimate Helper, whom (in a moment of painful honesty) I have given very little thought or attention to today. Father, I'm sorry for not coming to you with the little things.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
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Bre, an honest moment makes you real. :) I appreciate your honesty...I appreciate YOU. :)
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post Bre...thank you for sharing. I really needed to read that this morning. I just wrote a blog post title..."I'm tired." ;)
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, I think every mom knows how you feel. And then you will wake up tomorrow and God will give you strength to feel better and get things accomplished.
ReplyDeleteAmen, mama.
ReplyDelete