Fear

Fear (in the form of worry, doubt, anxiety) has always been a struggle of mine... at least throughout my adult life. While I feel like I've been able to conquer it in many ways, I find that it still plagues me. It grips me in the middle of the night or as I try to fall asleep. I feel overcome by all of my shortcomings, or the things that I haven't gotten done, or I will just begin to worry (panic, even) about some facet of my life... family, work, money...

It's honestly the worst feeling ever. Because no matter how much I try to think on something else, and no matter how much I may know (in my head) that it's really not that big of a deal, it consumes me.

I've come to realize over the past months that these "attacks" are, I believe, very spiritual in nature -- designed to defeat me and take my eyes off of the fact that God is very much in control and that He loves me deeply. Since this realization, I've had to be very intentional in fighting fear.

1. By taking every thought captive. This is very difficult for me, but necessary.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
2 Corinthians 10:5

2. By prayer. This is actually  most important because, at least for me, it's hard for me to take those thoughts captive without prayer.

"I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears."Psalm 34:4

3. Openness and Accountability. This is difficult for me because a lot of time when I give voice to the things I worry about... I feel silly. Ha! But Aaron has really helped me a lot lately. Not only does it help to just get it out, but his prayers for me have been so amazingly helpful.

4. Keeping the Tank Full. I have started to notice that fear/worry is just not an issue when I am regularly spending time with God by being in the Word and in prayer.

I have been reading through the book "Window in a Glass House" by Shirley Walker (a great read for pastors wives or for anyone in ministry), and I read a chapter this week about this very topic. There was one paragraph in particular that really spoke to me.

I view fear as the gauge for my spiritual tank. When i find myself battling the "what if..." questions, I know my faith is running on reserves. I need time in the scripture to strenghten my spirit in His word... No longer is fear a crippling enemy... it has become a stepping stone into His presence.

I thought that was a really cool perspective. Thanks for letting me share!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8