I'm Sorry

It is no secret that Abby loves her little cousins. I mean LOVES. Since she was nearly a baby herself, she's been hardly able to resist touching, picking up, and taking care of any baby in the vicinity... and she's gotten pretty good! Well, Sunday, she was toting Madi around all over the back yard, then set her down on the bench and Madi fell off and got hurt. Nobody made a deal of it, but Abby disappeared for a while and came back with this card for Jason. She felt so bad that Madison got hurt.

I'm very proud of Abby. She's a very thoughtful kid, whether it be with apologies or just a note to tell you how special she thinks you are. We have piles and piles of homemade cards for Mom & Dad, for friends, grandparents, and teachers. I absolutely love that about her! 

Fear

Fear is something that's getting a lot of talk time around our house lately. Carson has, for the past couple of weeks, been completely overcome by the fear that our house is going to catch on fire. He goes to bed worrying about it, he gets up in the middle of the night worried about it, he wakes up worried about it. We do our best to calm his fears, to pray with him, and to teach him what to do if he ever does find himself in that situation. As a mom, it's tough. I wish I could say that houses never caught on fire or that he'd never find himself in a scary situation, but that's not true. (The house I grew up in burned down when I was in third grade.) I can tell him it's not likely. I can teach him how to handle it if it ever does happen. I can tell him it's not worth wasting his every minute worrying about something that's probably not going to happen, and that even if it did, I'd stop at nothing to make sure he was safe.

I've found that God has really been speaking to me in this as he turns the mirror on me. I don't spend hours worrying about my house catching fire, but I fear and worry about a lot of other things... money, car accidents, business, ministry... there's a long list of things. I spend so much of my time lying awake at night being fearful over one thing or another when God's saying, "It's going to be okay. I'll show you what to do. I'll stop at nothing to make sure that you're okay. I'm here." When I take the time to stop and hear that, it brings peace. I've got to be better about taking time to hear his voice and listen to his guidance because "perfect love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Goodbye to my 20's!

Well... it's happened. My twenties are now behind me. I always wondered if I'd be nervous or sad about this day. I'm neither. I mean, it is a little strange. Thirty means you're a real grown up. But I'm cool with that. I feel like I did a lot in my 20's, and there's no reason to stop now!

I started my 20's off by moving into my very own apartment in San Antonio. It was 495 square feet and I paid $350 a month. It was the first time I had ever lived on my own. I loved it. At the time, I was still undecided about where I'd go to college and what I'd study. I'd been taking classes at community colleges since high school, just hadn't decided on THE college or THE degree I'd pursue. On the table were Interior Design, Photography, Journalism, Photojournalism, and Visual Arts in Ministry. There were road trips to Chicago, Tennessee, and Abilene. A lot of those almost happened, but for one reason or another (uncertainty, being waitlisted, etc.), none really panned out. I kept going to San Antonio College, working at my first salaried job (R.L. Worth & Associates), and helping out at River City Community Church with the youth. The summer after I turned 20, I met this guy who started coming to our College group at church. Truthfully, even though we didn't know each other very well, I felt like I knew him because I was good friends with his brother and his mom. One night at Starbucks, we got to talking until they had to kick us out. A year later (almost to the day), we got married. A couple months after that, we found out out we'd be becoming a family of three! Even though I was a bit scared, we were super happy when we got to meet Abby. I quit my job at Worth (cutting our income in half), and I decided I'd start my own business doing photography and graphic design. We were pretty broke, but I have fond memories of those days. Laid back mornings in bed with Abby, watching the entire Dawson's Creek series, afternoons trying to get my business off the ground. Not long after that, Aaron came on staff at RCCC as the youth pastor. Officially a pastor's wife. In 2006, Carson joined our family. He was so precious and the perfect fit for our family. Not long after that I started working at RCCC, too, doing graphic design/media. I did that for a couple years, being able to (for the most part) stay home with the kids. There came a point though where it was more than I could do, so I stepped down from my job at River City and went back to being home with the kids and tried to get my business back up and running. Since then I've been really happy with how Powerhouse Studios has grown and the ways it's allowed me to be flexible and have fun! At the end of 2009, Aaron and I both (separately) started feeling that God was getting ready to move us. As we talked and prayed, we felt led to launch a new campus of River City in northwest San Antonio. That's been quite the ride, and I've gotten to wear a lot of different hats. Meanwhile, our kids are getting bigger, smarter, more fun, and are turning into fabulous little people!

Looking back, I am so amazed at all God has done in my life. I remember feeling so lost in my early twenties, like I was floundering. Part of me was really bummed that I never did the college thing. But then I look at it, and realize... I wanted to study photography -- I'm doing it! Creative Ministry and Media -- doing it! Graphic design -- doing it! We were going to wait a while before having kids, but now I can't imagine it any other way. God has orchestrated every thing perfectly. He put every person, every circumstance in my path to lead me right here.

I love being Abby and Carson's mom. I love being Aaron's wife. Even though there are uncertainties at times, I love everything about where I'm at right now, and I wouldn't change a thing about my life.

I think I'm ready for the next decade. There's a lot to look forward to! It'll be an exciting new chapter/decade in my life (that I've just realized will end with Abby graduating high school. *gasp*). There will be no shortage of exciting moments in the next ten years, and I'm excited to see what's in store!

Overcoming

I've got some amazing people in my life. I hope to talk about them all at one point or another, but today, I wanted to tell you about Nanny and Pawpaw. Growing up, I always loved going to their house (still do). It was always full of kids (my cousins and/or the kids that Nanny babysat), love, and good food. We have a great family that I've always loved being around. (I think when we all get together, there's nearly 50 of us now.) One of my favorite memories at Nanny and Pawpaw's was the week that I spent with them -- just me -- when I was probably 13. It was strange at first not having my sister or any number of cousins there to play with, but I had the best time. We ate ice cream, watched movies, and Nanny taught me how to play Hearts. There were mornings spent talking out on the deck and afternoons listening to Pawpaw tell the story of how they met and how he saw fireworks the first time he kissed her. It was great. They've had an amazing life. I suppose I could go on a while, but I thought I'd share this newspaper article Nanny tucked in with a letter a couple months ago. She thought I'd like to have it since that's my dad in the picture, and I'm so happy to have this little piece of family history!

Happy New Year!

2011. What a year.

It was fun, exciting, difficult, unexpected, joyful, exhausting, and more. I don’t even know how to describe it. It was a year of many changes. I felt like I was always going a million directions at any given time… but God was faithful to provide many moments of peace and rest throughout the year as well as many answered prayers and much love and grace along the way. I also felt like I/we grew so much this year in a lot of ways. All in all, it was a great year.

Now 2012 is upon us. We welcomed in the new year by having a family game night and watching fireworks out in the driveway. Granted, we’re kind of old and only stayed up until 10:30 or so, but it was fun nonetheless. And our neighbors made sure we woke up at midnight. The fireworks from 12:00-12:30 were INSANE. I’ll try to post a video soon, but they were literally constant with no breaks. It sounded like we were in a giant pot of popping popcorn. I got up and walked outside to see it, and the air was thick with dense smoke and the smell of gunpowder. I have never in my life seen anything like it! New Years party at our house next year? You won’t find a better fireworks show anywhere, I promise.

Anyway, I’m excited to see what 2012 holds. I’m still thinking through my goals for the year, but here are a few thoughts:

• Finish reading the Bible (Chronologically)
• Be less frazzled, less in “survival mode”, and more organized and deliberate.
• Be more intentional about my relationships.
• Start saving for a fantastic 10th anniversary trip in 2013!
• Begin exploring food/travel photography.
• Lots of good family time.

Six Flags

Happy New Year, everyone! I can’t believe it’s 2012 already. (When I type that, I can’t help but think about the fact that Abby is now only ten years from graduating high school. *gasp*) Christmas was fun and all the festivities surrounding that. I’ll get around to documenting all that soon. I’m working on a Christmas video. But in the mean time, I thought I’d share a few pics from our trip to Six Flags last week. Mom and Dad took us all to Holiday in the Park and it was so much fun! The kids had never been to any of the Six Flags parks, so they were thrilled! All four kiddos went full speed all the way to closing time. Abby and Aaron conquered the biggest, fastest roller coaster there, the Titan (the rest of us were not brave enough), and they were champs! Carson wasn’t a huge fan of the roller coasters, but he loved the Mine Train and the Conquistador. We all had a super time (and slept really good that night)!

This Week [12.22.11]

...I attended four Christmas parties and a Christmas program (Jack's kindergarten class). So fun!
...NO SCHOOL!
...we had our nieces, Reagan and Madison over to spend the night.

...we celebrated Uncle Jason's birthday!
...prayers were answered.
...a police showed up at our house in the middle of the night and scared me half to death (a door at church was unlocked)
...we had ANOTHER playday with the cousins, then Jack spent the night!

...Aaron got the new iPhone 4gs, and LOVES it. It has Siri, and I have to admit--it's impressive. Aaron and the kids got a big kick out of asking it all sorts of questions tonight.
...we continued our Christmas tradition of getting Starbucks and then going to look at Christmas lights.

...I worried.
...I was again reminded of God's provision.
...made cinnamon rolls with Natalie. Yummmmmy! And super fun.

...Christmas shopping, wrapping, and music!
...we kept our house clean (kids rooms and all)!!!!!!!

As always, I'm sure there's much I have forgotten, but this is at least a good snapshot. We'll be doing Christmas with our kids on Christmas Eve since there will be church Christmas morning. Then on Christmas, we'll spend the day celebrating with Aaron's family, and on Monday we'll head up to Howe for a few days to celebrate with my family. Hope you all have an amazing Christmas!